Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
