do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
