It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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