he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
