Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
did i walk over a car last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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