im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
