you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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