Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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