the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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