just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
