Pants 0. Shit 1.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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