she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
