At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
