Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
