Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
