Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
