did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
