I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think i got beer on your cat.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
