so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
