I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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