I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
