I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
