Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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