Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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