i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
