He had one of those small greek statue penises
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
