I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
