lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
