your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
