Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
