You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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