I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The uberlube is also flammable
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
