Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
