i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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