If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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