After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I understand Curling. That high.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
