Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
