I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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