Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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