Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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