pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
