We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
