She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
