So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize