i think i have two assholes
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize