i would punch a child for taco bell
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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