it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
