I have demons in me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Green mimosas i think yes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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