weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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