It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The ass gains better be worth it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
