i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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