Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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