love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
