Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
