Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize