I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
