how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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