I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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