I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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